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Probably most people reading this—grandma or grandpa—adore their grandchildren. You anxiously awaited the birth of the first one and now you can’t see them nearly often enough to suit you. Oh, I know the old saying, “It’s great to have them come, and it’s great to have them go home.” But if the other grandparents I know are to be believed, their grandchildren are the light of their eyes and their grandchildren adore them! But I have no idea how many of you actually feel guilt about their grandparenting or lack thereof.

My mother got her college degree when she was almost 73 years old. She died of cancer before she turned 74. Was it worth it? I think she would say, “Definitely!” She participated in BYU’s remote education program in the 1990s, before virtual education and even email was a thing. This was made even more difficult because she was living in Brazil. All communication with professors and assignments had to be mailed back and forth.

In my more than 10 years of writing a monthly blog for an in-home care agency and my experience caring for my dad and my husband, I’ve had the opportunity to give advice to lots of caregivers.

You’re 18; you’re finally an adult; you think you know everything. You’ve graduated from high school (which was probably the hardest thing you will ever have to go through), and you’ve reached the moment that you’ve always dreamt of: adulthood. Now you can live your dream life, and you will finally be happy…

Behind that smiling countenance and bullet-proof positive attitude that you’re likely to encounter is the other me: frustrated, beaten down and yes, depressed. Sometimes. Lately it feels like it’s more often than not. My aging spinal cord injury isn’t helping things. Walking, even with crutches, is more difficult than ever. Two worn out painful shoulders are awaiting replacement surgery. Leg spasms are ruling the day. Waaah. Sounds like a lot of complaining to me.