Finding & Accepting Workarounds for Age-Related Limitations
How old do you feel in your head? Odds are it’s “a lot younger” than you feel when
you look in the mirror or see a photo of yourself that someone else has taken from
your “bad side.” If you have good genes, have been careful about not getting too much
sun on your face, die your hair (that can also work against you), eat well, and exercise,
other people might think you look a little younger than you are, but not that much younger!
I wrote recently about preparing our homes to make them safe for aging in place. But I’ve been thinking a lot about finding workarounds for the things I might not be able to do as well or not do at all as I age. You’re right! One of the reasons is because at 81 there are already things I can’t do and things that I used to be able to do for much longer than I can now.
Can't Do Examples:
- drive without glasses, hear everything without hearing aids
- put a sock on my left foot (arthritis in my hip)
- easily open a glass jar or a “child proof” pill container
- sleep at night without getting up 2 or 3 times to use the bathroom
- stand on a chair to change a light bulb
- go up or down stairs without holding on to something or someone
- wear shoes without thick soles and foam insoles
- work in my vegetable garden for more than an hour or two
- bake everything for Thanksgiving dinner in one day
- read for more than an hour without feeling too sleepy to go on, etc.
Not huge inconveniences for a woman my age, but enough to make me think about what part of me will wear out next.
Workarounds:
When my husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, one of the most encouraging things the neurologist told us was that because of his education (PhD) professions (history professor and book critic), his years singing with the Utah Symphony choir, and his healthy lifestyle, he would be able to find workarounds for some parts of his increasingly damaged brain. And he did! One example: when he couldn’t think of a common word for something, his brain somehow found a less-familiar word with a more complex meaning. A social worker also told me that “he wouldn’t know what he doesn’t know.” That was true enough that he was rarely self-conscious about making mistakes.
I have a hard time understanding why some people are so resistant to wearing hearing
aids. Most of us are happy to get glasses when we can’t see to read or drive without
them. Why not hearing aids? Not being able to hear is isolating and is known to speed
up the symptoms of dementia. I got them as soon as I noticed I was turning up the
sound on the TV. Most people don’t notice that I wear them, and I wouldn’t care if
they did.
My Hearing Aid
I hope I will accept using a cane or a walker when going without one is a fall risk!
I know several people who have been advised to use one or the other and refuse to
do it. I’m sure it seems inconvenient, but what can be more inconvenient than a broken
hip or a trip to the ER because of a fall in the middle of the night! Whatever
the fall risk, I try my best to avoid it. For example, if there’s not a railing, I
hold onto someone when navigating stairs, and I wait until someone tall comes over
to change a light bulb.
I did resist getting a “put-your-socks-on tool" from Amazon, but even that was a matter of pride. I thought if I did the right exercises,
I would eventually be able to do it myself. I was going without sox a lot until I
had one delivered. Pride was not an issue when I stopped coloring my hair. It was expensive, time consuming, and not fooling anyone, so I had my hairdresser
bleach out all the color, and I changed from dark brown to gray in one afternoon.
Some women say they will go to the grave coloring their hair. Fine, but not necessary
for me.
Vision problems of age can be hard or impossible to overcome. I’ve often said that I could happily spend all my time reading when other types of entertainment aren’t an option, but diseases like macular degeneration, glaucoma or a detached retinae aren’t in our control, even though there are more medical “fixes” than there used to be. See your eye doctor as soon as things don’t seem right, and don’t be afraid of cataract surgery, something most of us eventually need to have. Some people swear by audio books even with perfect vision.
I’m lucky that so far, I haven’t had to have any of my “parts” replaced—hips, shoulders, knees, cornea, etc.—but we are so fortunate that those options are available to keep us mobile well into old age. I do have Fuchs Corneal Dystrophy, but my ophthalmologist says it is progressing so slowly that I’ll die before I need a corneal transplant. Hah! He doesn’t know how long I’m going to live!
As I think about what has helped me adjust to and accept workarounds so far is that they allow me to keep doing the things that bring me joy, like serving others through my writing and one-on-one conversations about what can help make aging and caregiving easier. Sometimes, sharing what I’ve learned that has helped me get through some of life’s trials is just what I need to keep going happily toward what might lie ahead.